Reviews for Five Bucks - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

You know something? I love the Call of Duty Franchise. It's not a stretch for me to say that it's one of my favorite FPS franchises ever. And the first Modern Warfare gave me an FPS Boner. So much so, that I refused to accept World at War as a Call of Duty game. "We've moved past WWII! WaW is just a fucking Modern Warfare Clone!" I kept saying. But hey, I picked it up anyway and played the hell outta that game. It set yet another bar to be topped by the next game.

So when I heard about Modern Warfare 2 a year ago, you can see how I expected great things from the game. And you know what? It delivered! ... at first.


The Story

Okay, so the basic story behind Modern Warfare 2 is that Five Years after (Do companies have fetishes for Odd-Numbered Time spans?) the events of the first Modern Warfare, shit has gotten bad. I mean really bad. The badguys you fought last time? Yeah, they're running Russia now. Zakiev? The dude you killed in 'All Ghillied Up'? Yeah, he's a national hero to the Russkies. And guess what? It sucks. I dunno HOW that happened, but the plot demands it, so who am I to question the (il)logic of the plot? Oh yeah.

Not only can this Mutha Fucka survive a bullet to the fucking HEART, but he gets a statue to boot!

You're an Army Ranger at first, which is a nice change from the previous installment where you started off as the Fuckin' New Guy in the SAS. Here you go through the tutorial missions and - Okay, you know what? Fuck it.

This story sucks. It sucks BALLS. Now, granted, it DOES have that grand, overthetop, action-movie feel. But that's the problem! The first Modern Warfare had a simple story; Russian Terrorists want to nuke the bastards in the West and Joint Operations between the Americans, Soap MacTavish, and Captain "Badass" Price. It feels like a movie that could actually happen. Everything was secretive, and covered up later on in between missions through clever news bulletins. This new one.... It's just so wrong.

Don't get me wrong here, I enjoyed the story my first time through. There were plenty of References I got and enjoyed thoroughly, especially the mission "Wolverines!", where the Russian Army invades US Soil.

And we don't nuke 'em.

Let's just point out all of the plot holes in this thing the devs called a story.

1. A lone American is found dead, at the scene of a massacre in Russia where he participated in shooting innocent civilians. This means that it was America behind the WHOOOOLE THING! Wait, what?
2. The Ultra-Nationalists that were lead by Zakiev have taken control over Russia, despite having lost the war in the first Modern Warfare.
3. The Russian Military launches a military invasion on US Soil, which pushes the US forces back onto the defensive.
4. Before that, those Commie Bastards hijacked our Satellites and used them against us (Where's Jeff Goldblum when you need 'im?)
5. Price, who we saw die in the first game, comes back (Much to my excitement and pleasure)
6. The entire war was started by a US General who lost 30,000 men in the first game due to the Nuclear Explosion in the Middle East. Why did he start the war? He started it to make people Patriotic enough to fight, so that he could... start a war? The hell?
7. Price's brilliant decision to end the fighting in the US is to launch a Nuke, or at least an EMP bomb.

Need I say more?

Okay, so maybe I'm focusing a little too much on the bad this time around. The game IS fun the first go-around, like I said, but after that, the Story isn't as captivating as it was. Which I think is it's major flaw. And it DOES have it's cool moments in the story. Example; the entire Russian Invasion - while idiotic - is absolutely awesome to play through. It does have it's annoying moments, but for the most part, it's my favorite section of the story. It's well told despite it's stupidity. They kind of made it believable, in a way.


The Gameplay

"Point and Shoot" is the main idea of any FPS game. This one is no different. Hooray! Nothing new!

Actually, yeah, there is some new things this time around. The singleplayer is still the same thing as usual for the most part, but the multiplayer is something else entirely. The kill streaks are updated, where you get more than just UAV, Airstrike, and Helicopter streaks. Now you get plenty to choose from, and I DO mean choose from. They even give you a Nuke to use if you get 25 Kills in a row. It's an interesting change, and almost welcome.

I say almost because one thing an FPS should always be in Multiplayer is balanced. Now, the first MW got away with the Create-a-Class because it was new. It made the game imbalanced, but not as much as these Kill Streaks. Everyone got the same kill streaks, everyone had the same weapons, and were allowed to pick between perks. These perks were the same no matter who used 'em. A guy with Juggernaut had the same Health as the newbie with the same perk. Despite being imbalanced, the imbalances actually balanced out to put everyone on a relatively equal footing.

Not so in this game. Part of the new features, while still cool and a bit on the RPG side (Who's complaining? I love RPGs), besides the mutiple kill streaks that you can customize, are Perks that level up. Say, for instance, you have the Commando perk, right? The guy next to you probably has Commando too. The problem is, you have Commando, he has "Commando: Pro". He gets an extra bonus to his Commando perk. It's a cool idea in theory, and a welcome one!... In theory. In practice, it's a pain in the ass.

The hilarious thing is that despite the odds being stacked in the favor of you dying (They even give you fucking DEATHSTREAKS, as if to say, "Hey, you're fucking terrible at this game. Let's help you out a bit!") it's remarkably easy to get kills in this game. I, myself, am okay at the game. I usually end up with more Kills than deaths in any Online FPS, but I swear, I end almost every game with at most, at most, 1 more kill than I do deaths.

Expect to see this. A lot.

On the opposite side of multiplayer is the singleplayer game. One thing this game does to change it up is add both Vehicle Segments to the missions similar to the AC-130 mission from the previous installment of the game and even two or three where you're actually controlling where the vehicle goes. It's a fresh breath for the MW series, even if it's been done in other Call of Duty games. But that's still not what I liked about the singleplayer game.

This game actually focuses a bit more on stealth at times, specifically in two missions. One of which is your now-standard-sniping mission that we had in All Ghillied Up, only this time in Snow and not near as hard. The other has you sneaking around an enemy base without alerting any soldiers (You don't HAVE to, but it's damn near impossible to just slug your way through the base without sneaking at all on the harder difficulties). They're a lot of fun and have interesting gameplay elements that are included in the multiplayer, like the Heartbeat Sensor (which is a lifesaver for Snipers everywhere).

Glitches and bugs still plague the game, though. Multiplayer is riddled with people who're ready and willing to exploit any glitch and any trick-jump to gain the advantage, furthering their obsessive need to have the best Kill/Death ratio in existence. Seriously, nobody is interested in just having fun anymore with these games, and it's fucking annoying! Half of everyone I've ever encountered online are Snobbish, Elitist gamers who believe that the only thing worth doing in the game is killing everything and ignoring the "Team" part of "Team Deathmatch". They all think they're fucking Rambo and end up getting killed way too fucking early in the game.

omg fukkin haeturz!

Just stop. It's sad. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.

And don't even get me started on how lazy it is to just put in missions from the game and make them "Special Ops Mode" is just insulting. It's fun, but it's fucking insulting at how fucking lazy it is.


The Graphics

I wasn't blown away by these graphics. They were on the same level as the first Modern Warfare, which was damn good, but I didn't see anything really spectacular that got my attention like the first one did. In fact, I was MUCH more impressed by Red Faction than I was with this game!

It's still photo-realistic, It's still damn good, the sound is still pretty good (With the exception of a few of the guns), and it's just STILL THE SAME. If you came all over your tighty whities because of the first Modern Warfare, then this'll get a less-enthusiastic-but-still-satisfying feeling from you. Though why you'd have THAT reaction to a fucking video game instead of, say, this

Every Nerd's Dream

Is beyond me

All in all, Call of Duty: Modern Wafare 2 feels like a rehashing of the original game. It's story is SHIT, the Multiplayer is broken as HELL, the Spec Ops mode is a fun distraction that's lazy, and it's just... Mediocre. The Fan Boys are gonna flame and the haters are gonna love me for the negativity. But I'm in the middle here. I WANTED to love this game. I WANTED to be a Fanboy. But with how high the bar's been set by Both COD4 and World at War, this game just falls way too short. I give it a 6 out of 10 (6/10).

Reviews For Five Bucks - Red Faction: Guerrilla

First off, the the downside of this segment is that I may or may not finish whatever it is that I'm talking about. I rent or buy a movie/game/book/whatever for Five bucks or less, then I share my experience and what I liked about it. That's the point of this; I review these things on a budget, for people who're also on a budget.

Unfortunately, five bucks only gets me 2 nights at Family Video for anything besides a fucking DS game. And trust me when I say, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty pitchfork than play most of the games on the DS. But I digress.

Here's how we're gonna do this; I'm going to break the game down into three Separate, but equally important groups; The Story, The Graphics, and the Gameplay. Not that hard to do, and it works, so I'm not complaining. This way, you'll get a good, quick look at just what is either Absurd or Brilliant. Or Absurdly brilliant as the case may be.


The Story

I've already said that I may or may not finish whatever game it is I'm reviewing. And that's the case here. I didn't get to finish Red Faction: Guerrilla. But that's partially the Game's fault; It's too damn fun. But, I DID get far enough to gather an idea as to what the main plot is (read: past the first mission).

Basically, the story revolves around Alec Mason, an offworlder who comes to Mars to work. He's picked up by his brother, Daniel, and taken to a run-down area for Alec to practice blowing shit up - and trust me, I've never had so much fun in a TUTORIAL. It's here that you learn that your first weapon is a simple tool. A crowbar!.. I mean a SLEDGEHAMMER.

Stop! Hammertime!

You also get the Remote Explosives, which are just what their name says; You throw 'em, and then press the button to make shit go boom. You're only able to throw two at a time at this point, but trust me when I say that it's well worth the tedious wait to throw two mines, blow shit up, then repeat.

So you finish demolishing the marked buildings (Don't stop there, blow everything up. Everything.) and you get a Cut-scene. Your brother dies at the hands of the EDF, or Earth Defense Force, and then you're thrust into the actual game after a Cinematic fight sequence where you're recruited into the Red Faction; a Terrorist Organization that's trying to rid Mars of the EDF, who're helping their cause by being dicks.


That's the basic story. You're a revolutionary. Now go Revolutionize.


The Gameplay

Not much can be said about the gameplay in Red Faction more than this; GTA IN SPAAAACE!!! You know how everyone makes that joke of, "Where else can they go with the franchise? Space?" Well, this is that joke. Only instead of sad and pathetic, this is actually funny and awesome.

The game is well-polished and feels complete. It's not annoying to play when Characters alert you over your radio as to what's going on, what they want you to do, etc. So don't expect to have your cousin help you smell like big Martian Titties or go Bowling on the Left Nostril of the Face on Mars. Don't even expect to get drunk.

Actually, that's one problem I have with RF: G, and even then it's only a nitpick more than a problem. While it gives you the opportunity to steal most of the vehicles in the game (Flying craft and, as far as I could tell, Tanks are out of the question), and do MOST of what you can do in GTA, it doesn't have the same versatility. But I guess that what it lacks in the number of vehicles and weapons, and even in side missions (There's only about 7 different types), it makes up for in interactive environments.

The controls for Red Faction are a bit odd, and definitely take some getting used to. Most players will find the system of backing out of a menu in-game to be a bit confusing, since instead of hitting the Circle Button (Like most games I've played have) to back out of the In-game Weapons Swapping menus, you have to hit the X button. It's nothing big or too annoying, but it's definitely weird for a few moments. And even then, after a few hours, I still found myself accidentally swapping weapons when I wanted to just leave the menu.

However, that's not the end of the problems I had with the game.

Oddly enough, there were a few bugs that I ran into while playing. For instance, at one point, my vehicle flew 700 virtual meters into the air when it got hit by a single rocket. Now, that was an armored vehicle from the professional military forces on the planet. When I got hit by a rocket in the Dune Buggy? The thing moved slightly to the left. Coupled with the slowing and speeding up of the vehicles depending on the slope of the terrain, the occasional bug makes driving fun, but a bit complicated and stressful; especially when you're being chased by every mutha fucka on the planet after blowing everything up.

Them Duke boys done got themselves in a whole dish o' trouble.

Speaking of blowing everything up, there's one problem I have with the actual demolition portions of the game; and that's the physics. The physics work beautifully in almost every aspect, including the way a building collapses on itself when you take out the support beams. But the main problem with these physics is that you have to destroy EVERYTHING on the bottom of the building - all of the support beams, all of the walls, and ESPECIALLY the doorways (Fucking Doors...) - otherwise, you'll have to take potshots after it SHOULD collapse, to make it collapse so that you can collect the salvage.

Now, Salvage is what this game uses as currency and Experience Points. The more Salvage you earn, the more upgrades you can buy for your weapons, health, etc. Hell, they even give you a jetpack later in the game. And you can obtain Salvage in two ways; Mining Ore Deposits, which relinquish much more salvage per piece-o-stuff than regular salvage pieces, and blowing shit up. Guess which one is my favorite.

Exactly.

The Graphics

Okay, so we've touched on the Gameplay, the story, and now we're on to the graphics. Long story short (Too late), the graphics are nothing but spectacular. Ever seen a building blow up in your face? Yeah, it happens a lot in this game, and it's just fucking awesome to watch. So awesome, in fact, that I actually found myself hard-pressed to look elsewhere when looking at the images on my screen. Thankfully, I found something ironically impressive.

Common sense says that if they spent so much time on the buildings and explosions so that all of them are able to be on screen at once, they had to cut some corners here and there. Thankfully, corners were merely trimmed, as opposed to hacked to pieces by way of the environment itself. The textures and tiny little details on the ground itself are impressive to look at as you drive by, and you can tell that, while not as detailed as the buildings and explosions, some real thought went into the way the wind affects the dirt around you. For example, there's mini-twisters scattered throughout the town/area of Dust. It really adds a lot to the experience when the environment itself is moving and acting in a way that's convincing.

War never looked so pretty!

All in all, Red Faction: Guerrilla was a great rental for five bucks. The Gameplay is polished (Albeit not to a perfect, gleaming shine), the graphics are exciting and interesting to look at and really add to the experience, and the story is fun and interesting enough to keep you entertained while doing the story missions. If I can find a copy on the Used Games shelf, I'll pick it up, and so should you. I give it an eight out of ten ( 8/10 ).

Scripting

I hate scripting. Trying to script for my upcoming show is turning into a major pain in the ass. I'm getting it done, of course, and what I've got sounds kinda good, actually. I just hate the process of having to put what I want onto paper so I can memorize it and the like. But anyways, look forward to tomorrow, people. The first segment of "Reviews For Five Bucks" (Or "ReFib" as I like to Call it) is due out tomorrow, and I'm hoping you're not disappointed.

New Year, new post

Yeah, I know, not many updates since the 20th (lol see wut i did thar? "not many" = "none" lolz), but I'll blame that on Christmas and the Destruction of Neptune at the hands of Xenu. So yeah, it's a new year. So to commemorate this, I'm adding a new, weekly update for the blog.

Imma start Reviewin' stuff. I've done a few reviews in the past, but never posted 'em on here. So starting every Thursday, I'm gonna post a Review of something, ANYTHING, that I feel like reviewing during the week. Hopefully it'll be both informative and also a bit entertaining to read. What's next in the future of Mania Contagion? Well, I'm also working on a video review show, but I wanna keep the details of that under wraps for the time being.

Until then, True believers!